Saturday, September 20, 2008

Speaking of Reform...

Every fourth fall, the topic of reform gets a lot of play in the mainstream media. Of course any candidate running for President - or any other office for that matter - needs to pretend like they're going to do something to reform what's f'd up in our country, but both you and I know nothing is really going to change. In the spirit of talking the talk without walking the walk, I have a few "reforms" I'd like to institute in the multisport world. No, none of these things will ever happen, but there's nothing on TV tonight, I drank too much last night to even think about hitting the bars again and I'm pretty hopped up on First Endurance PreRace (it kicks the shit out of coffee), so sleeping really isn't an option. So here we go...

1. Every triathlete should be obligated to volunteer in one race for every three that they compete in. I did over 40 triathlons before I volunteered in my first and that's all kinds of unfair. I'm slowly starting to make up for it and I vow to do more next year.

2. Opt out of one race that you have scheduled for 2009 and give the money you would've spent on your entry to charity. I'm making a bit of a generalization here, but for the most part, triathletes have a little extra coin to spare. While I am steadfast in my belief that triathlon is the greatest sport on earth, there are thousands of causes that are more worthy of your money, so send a little their way too.

3. Let's get some more prize money for pro triathletes. I know too many guys who bust their asses harder than any nine to fiver I know, yet they still eat EZ-Mac for dinner. That being said, don't give them too much. Triathlon is somewhat unique in that the sport is much, much bigger than the athletes themselves and we ought to keep it that way. But until Chrissie Wellington gets an eight-figure contract from Nike, I don't think we have to worry about that.

4. Let's get some stricter doping penalties going. A two-year ban is fine, but once an athlete serves that ban, they should never be able to accept a prize purse ever, ever again. Once you've cheated the sport, you can't take money from it. Fair and square if you ask me.

5. Speaking of doping, let's get some protection going for the athletes too. No, PEDs aren't as much of a problem in triathlon as in cycling, but we don't want to see our athletes treated in the same manner as many pro cyclists have. Guilty until proven guilty isn't fair. Say what you want about Floyd Landis, but that man's life was ripped apart because he had no means of defending himself.

6. Buy a carbon credit in an amount equal to your race entry for every race you do. Triathlon may be great for you body, but it's terrible for the environment, so we all need to give back for every bit we take away.

That's it for my 2008 campaign agenda. If you have any other suggestions, feel free to comment.


Coach Mike said...

Good stuff, Brad. One additional plank to the platform I'd like to recommend:

Teach a newbie. Most entry-level triathletes enter the sport with more passion than skills; some fear doing race distances longer than sprints because they hate running, lack comfort in the water, or don't want to endure their bicycle for longer than an hour.

Oh, and your Toby Keith comment falls into one of the ten rules I try to live by:
3. There is no such thing as bad music.

Fauxhawk said...

I agree except I'm not sure how triathlons are terrible on the environment??

Coach Mike said...

Well, if you are going to participate in an event that is far away from you (e.g. IM Hawaii) either pack your bike and fly to the venue (jet fuel) or you drive (gasoline). You have all those plastic bottles that are either discarded on the course at aid stations or left on the course. When the event is done you pack your bike and either fly or drive back.

Just a small example.