Thursday, January 15, 2009

Random $hit About Chile

I'm all for popping sleeping pills during trans-continental, red-eye flights. As such, I indulged in a unisom before leaving Dallas for Santiago Chile last night, but it didn't seem to work as advertised. Maybe it was because I had a behemoth of a Chilean sitting next to me, and at one point he actually head-butted me while he was seizuring in his sleep. At any rate, instead of making me tired, the unisom just made me hallucinate for 12 hours. Here's what I observed in my first six hours in Chile, while high on OTC sleeping pills (by the way, I'm here to "cover" Pucon 70.3).

1. Chilean urnals are all really high, which couldn't possibly make any less sense. There's no way to not pee on yourself. It's not like the Chilean people are abnormally tall. In fact, they're quite the opposite. When was the last time you saw a Chilean playing center in the NBA?

2. The American dollar still kicks ass down here. In fact, since I've been too lazy (and high on unisom) to venture to a currency exchange, I've been buying everything with American dollars and the clerks thank me at least a dozen times.

3. The highways are riddled with billboards and yet they're all hand-painted. I can't imagine how long that takes. An East L.A. "tagger" could make a killing down here.

4. More stereotyping: Chilean drivers make British drivers seem passive. Apparently they watch NASCAR in Chile, because these people can bump draft better than Dale Jr.

That's all for now. I'll check in soon. Hopefully after a nap.


Tim Shults said...

You need to do a couple of Chilean beer reviews... Might I suggest Kuntsman or any other beer from Valdivia.

Coach Mike said...

Yes. We DEMAND a Chilean beer review. :)

Brad Culp said...

Haha -- You guys have to be patient. Of course a Kuntsman Bock review is coming. I've already consumed everyone of them from my mini-bar...can't wait to see how much that cost me.