Random $hit About Chile

I'm all for popping sleeping pills during trans-continental, red-eye flights. As such, I indulged in a unisom before leaving Dallas for Santiago Chile last night, but it didn't seem to work as advertised. Maybe it was because I had a behemoth of a Chilean sitting next to me, and at one point he actually head-butted me while he was seizuring in his sleep. At any rate, instead of making me tired, the unisom just made me hallucinate for 12 hours. Here's what I observed in my first six hours in Chile, while high on OTC sleeping pills (by the way, I'm here to "cover" Pucon 70.3).

1. Chilean urnals are all really high, which couldn't possibly make any less sense. There's no way to not pee on yourself. It's not like the Chilean people are abnormally tall. In fact, they're quite the opposite. When was the last time you saw a Chilean playing center in the NBA?

2. The American dollar still kicks ass down here. In fact, since I've been too lazy (and high on unisom) to venture to a currency exchange, I've been buying everything with American dollars and the clerks thank me at least a dozen times.

3. The highways are riddled with billboards and yet they're all hand-painted. I can't imagine how long that takes. An East L.A. "tagger" could make a killing down here.

4. More stereotyping: Chilean drivers make British drivers seem passive. Apparently they watch NASCAR in Chile, because these people can bump draft better than Dale Jr.

That's all for now. I'll check in soon. Hopefully after a nap.

Beer Review of the Week: Big Sky Brewing Biere de Noel

A few weeks back, Linsey Corbin was in town for a photo shoot. I heard that her husband worked at a brewery in Montana, so I somewhat-jokingly said that I wouldn't put her in the magazine unless she brought beer. Linsey was already traveling with a bike in tow, so I really didn't expect her to lug some beer down to San Diego as well. However, since I'm somewhat of an alcoholic, at least as far as triathletes go, I was kinda hoping she did. And she did.

Upon her arrival I was handed a giant bottle of limited edition Big Sky Brewing Co. Biere de Noel. Hand-written on the back was "No. 109 of 204", which means this stuff is about as hard to come by as the new Litespeed Blade. I had been meaning to drink it before Christmas (being as it's a Christmas-themed beer and all), but I've been on the road and away from my fridge. So, when I got back to San Diego tonight, I decided a double-pint of really strong brew was in order. The Big Sky Noel boasts almost 9% ABV, which feels like a lot more when you've been drinking on a plane all day...not that I'd ever do that. Basically, if the Grinch had this shit, he wouldn't have been nearly as big of a dick to the poor children of Whoville.

As for the finer details...

The Noel definitely is not short on flavor notes. If your palate is only used to Natty, Keystone and Icehouse (AKA, you're a college student), it may be a little much. It's a Belgian Dark Ale, which means two things: It's robust and it gets you lit. True to its Belgian heritage, the Noel is loaded with spice, but low in bitterness. The tame bitterness means it finishes smooth, but the strong notes of bourbon, oak and smoke linger in the palate.

And as for the ratings...

Calories: * I can't give you an exact calorie count, but if you're looking to get ripped during the off-season, this shouldn't be your brew of choice.

Antioxidants: *** Belgian Dark Ales are some of the most antioxidant rich beers on earth, so it's ideal to drink immediately after a hard workout...so long as you plan on doing absolutely nothing for the rest of the day.

Refreshment: 1/2 * This is not meant to be a refreshing beer by any stretch. It's meant to be sipped slowly while you're sitting next to the fire and trying to get buzzed enough to deal with your in-laws.

Taste: *** I probably wouldn't give the Noel three stars if I were drinking it on a sweltering summer day in the Everglades, but the uber-spicy flavor is perfect this time of the year.

On Simon and Chrissie...

I have to admit I was a bit stunned when I heard Chrissie had left Camp Cliff to train under the recently-retired Simon Lessing. I've heard a lot of talk since this news broke--everything from, "Her career is doomed", to, "She'll beat Crowie at Kona next year." OK, maybe that's a bit embellished. My take? Chrissie will set a new course record in Kona next year and go on to win as many more titles as she seems fit (which I'm guessing is about three). Here's why:

Sutto (Brett Sutton) remarked on more than one occasion that the hardest part of his job (with regards to Chrissie) was keeping her from overcooking herself. I think Simon is just the guy for this job.

Last spring, I was e-mailing with Simon regarding my own training. I noted that I was injury prone, but was still trying to get my run mileage up to around 50 per week. He thought this sounded fine, but that I should do it by upping my frequency instead of the mileage of my long runs. I dug up his e-mail and this is what he had to say with regards to my personal training:

"Keep your long runs at a maximum of two hours. Beyond that, you're going to do more damage than good. I typically run for 20 miles or two hours; whichever comes first."

I reminded him that I would never be able to run 20 miles in two hours, but I gave his ideas a try. That e-mail was from March 5th, and I haven't run more than two hours since then. I figured I better listen to a guy who has five ITU world titles to his credit. I'm running faster than ever and have been [relatively] injury free all year. The guy knows his stuff.

So how does this apply to Chrissie? Endurance definitely isn't her problem. If you've ever seen Chrissie at the end of an Ironman, you know that 140.6 miles ain't much for her. There are only two things that can stop her from winning four or five more world titles: 1) Injury; and 2) Losing speed as she gets older.

I think Simon's less-but-just-enough method (if that's indeed how he trains Chrissie) is ideal for her. And, if she incorporates a bit more speed training than she has in the past, who knows how low that Kona record can go.

Triathlon is a Sport of Losers and Quitters

"Triathlon is a sport of losers and quitters". Those aren't my words. A college buddy of mine -- and one of the only people who reads this blog -- said that to me a while back. Actually, he sent it to me in a Facebook note, but I still got the point.

As someone who makes their living off of multisport, you may think I had a problem with his remark, but I could see what he was getting at. Triathlon is largely a participatory sport. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, that's one of the great things about this sport. It's not exclusive. We're not elitists (for the most part).

All that being said, triathlon is a bit of a fall-back sport. No one wants to be a great triathlete when they're 11-years old. Go to your local track or pool and you'll see dozens of young kids damn-near killing themselves to be the next Ryan Hall or Michael Phelps. It's only once they realize that winning eight gold medals ain't so easy that they think, "Mmmmm. Maybe I should give triathlon I try. I already know how to do A and B, now I just need to learn how to do C."

It's cool, but it also sucks. The means by which people gravitate toward our sport is somewhat different from others (recreational cycling and marathoning excluded). Kids aren't groomed to be triathletes; they're groomed to be kick ass runners and swimmers (and more rarely, cyclists).

A few months ago I was in Clermont, Fla., working on a travel story. I met with Alec Rukosuev, who is the head swim coach at the National Training Center in Clermont. As the -ev suffix in his last name implies, he originally hails from Russia. He, and many of his cohorts, grew up as triathletes. It's not entirely uncommon for kids in Europe and Oceania to do this, and consequently, it's not entirely uncommon for athletes from Europe and Oceania to smoke Americans at races around the globe.

So, if you're a parent, think about signing your kid up for an IronKid instead of Pee Wee football team. If the kid likes it, he or she might win Kona one day. If they don't like it, buy them the damn football pads and stop taking my advice.

Andy Potts and Becky Lavelle are going to win Clearwater

Too many people say, "I think so and so are going to win a certain race" when they make predictions. I'm considerably more arrogant than the average Joe and I like to think that I know a whole lot more about triathlon. So, instead of saying, "I think Potts and Lavelle will win in Clearwater", I'm telling you straight up--there's going to be an American sweep.

But first let me digress. America is not good at triathlon. If you were to list every country on earth from best tri-country to worst, we'd line up somewhere between Uzbekistan and Mongolia. I'm not sure if either of those countries have triathlons, or if Uzbekistan still exists (I'm pretty sure Mongolia does), but you get the point.

Enter Potts and Lavelle, who are probably our best shots for triathlon dominance in the near-future. Potts can win Kona as early as next year and Lavelle has the ability to win every 70.3 and non-drafting Olympic-distance race in the world. And they'll both win next weekend at the 70.3 World Championship. I'll spare you from having to log on to Ironman.com to check the results next week and give you a sneak peak of the podium:

MEN

1. Andy Potts (USA): He recovers incredibly quick, so the fact that he raced Kona two weeks ago shouldn't hold him back. Keep in mind that, although he did race an Ironman this year, his training was very much the same as last year when he won this race.

2. Terenzo Bozzone (NZL): I probably would've picked Terenzo to win, but the dude broke his wrist bunny-hopping a speed bump on the Big Island. That's gotta hold his swim back a bit.

3. Oscar Galindez (ARG): He was within mere seconds of taking down Potts last year and he can run really, really fast.

WOMEN

1. Becky Lavelle (USA): In a 70.3, short-coursers always beat out long-coursers, and that's why Becky will smoke the field.

2. Julie Dibens (GBR): She's scary fast on the bike and I expect her and Lavelle to push the pace big time. She'll lead Becky off the bike, but she doesn't have the run speed to hold her off.

3. Mirinda Carfrae (AUS): She's the polar opposite of Dibens. Not much of a rider, but one hell of a runner. Both Dibens and Lavelle know exactly how much of a gap they need at T2 to hold off the inevitable charge from Carfrae, who can outrun most of the pro men.

This week's props go to...

Obviously with Kona this past weekend I've got a lot of props to hand out. Yes, Chrissie Wellington and Craig Alexander deserve all the props in the world, but you already know that. These guys may not have finished on the podium, but they showed guts worthy of a shout-out on the race course. So, this week's props go to:

Bryan Rhodes (NZL): I caught up with Rhodsey about 20 minutes after he finished and he was a little upset with his performance. Sure, he finished 23rd, which was less than the Ironman Canada champ was expecting. However, it was the way he earned that 23rd spot that puts him on this list. Rhodsey went all out from the gun: Swimming with the second pack, riding with the leaders and hanging on for dear life on the run. He could've played it conservative and held back until the final half of the marathon (like he did in Canada and Ironman Florida last year), but he wanted to take his shot and a top-10 finish. Cheers Rhodsey--I still owe you a beer.

Andy Potts (USA): I spoke with Potts a couple of days before the race and asked him to pick his podium for the men's race. Surprisingly he didn't pick himself. He asked me for my picks and I told him I expected him to finish third. It was a bit of a fib. I knew he'd have a good go because he's a tough dude, but the realist in me didn't really think he had a shot at the top 10. Only six days after finishing second at the U.S. Open, Potts pulled off a seventh-place finish in Kona. Without a drafting call, he would've been in sixth. Not bad for a first timer. I'm calling it right now: Potts will win Kona in 2009 and he'll win Clearwater again this year.

Linsey Corbin (USA): As I was getting some follow-up pictures of the women's podium girls, I heard Mike Reily announce: "Here comes Linsey Corbin! Fifth overall and the first American." I have to admit I was a little shocked to see Linsey go so well. In hindsight I shouldn't have been. Linsey has been a rockstar since she turned pro two years ago and she's still on her way up. She has what it takes to win Kona, but she may have to wait until Wellington retires.

Speaking of Reform...

Every fourth fall, the topic of reform gets a lot of play in the mainstream media. Of course any candidate running for President - or any other office for that matter - needs to pretend like they're going to do something to reform what's f'd up in our country, but both you and I know nothing is really going to change. In the spirit of talking the talk without walking the walk, I have a few "reforms" I'd like to institute in the multisport world. No, none of these things will ever happen, but there's nothing on TV tonight, I drank too much last night to even think about hitting the bars again and I'm pretty hopped up on First Endurance PreRace (it kicks the shit out of coffee), so sleeping really isn't an option. So here we go...

1. Every triathlete should be obligated to volunteer in one race for every three that they compete in. I did over 40 triathlons before I volunteered in my first and that's all kinds of unfair. I'm slowly starting to make up for it and I vow to do more next year.

2. Opt out of one race that you have scheduled for 2009 and give the money you would've spent on your entry to charity. I'm making a bit of a generalization here, but for the most part, triathletes have a little extra coin to spare. While I am steadfast in my belief that triathlon is the greatest sport on earth, there are thousands of causes that are more worthy of your money, so send a little their way too.

3. Let's get some more prize money for pro triathletes. I know too many guys who bust their asses harder than any nine to fiver I know, yet they still eat EZ-Mac for dinner. That being said, don't give them too much. Triathlon is somewhat unique in that the sport is much, much bigger than the athletes themselves and we ought to keep it that way. But until Chrissie Wellington gets an eight-figure contract from Nike, I don't think we have to worry about that.

4. Let's get some stricter doping penalties going. A two-year ban is fine, but once an athlete serves that ban, they should never be able to accept a prize purse ever, ever again. Once you've cheated the sport, you can't take money from it. Fair and square if you ask me.

5. Speaking of doping, let's get some protection going for the athletes too. No, PEDs aren't as much of a problem in triathlon as in cycling, but we don't want to see our athletes treated in the same manner as many pro cyclists have. Guilty until proven guilty isn't fair. Say what you want about Floyd Landis, but that man's life was ripped apart because he had no means of defending himself.

6. Buy a carbon credit in an amount equal to your race entry for every race you do. Triathlon may be great for you body, but it's terrible for the environment, so we all need to give back for every bit we take away.

That's it for my 2008 campaign agenda. If you have any other suggestions, feel free to comment.